Making Ready

[poliphilo]

We moved furniture to make it easier for the ambulancemen to get Eric into the bungalow. (We had it in our heads they'd bring him in his hospital bed- which is ridiculous because they'd have needed an ambulance the size of a  removals lorry.) In the event the bed came by itself (in easy-to-assemble parts) and Eric followed on a stretcher. Before he arrived we had a call from the hospital asking us if we realized he might die in transit. Later I read the notes that came with him and saw this is something they're obliged to do- to stop them being sued (I guess).

Ailz got the family album out. Most of the people in it are strangers to me. Even Dot was uncertain about one or two of the earlier faces- a boy soldier of the Great War for instance. A crow alighted on a rail outside the conservatory and peered in at us through the French doors. 

Eric is comfortable. Semi-comatose. Medication has been withdrawn; he isn't eating. 

Comments

[sambeth.livejournal.com]

It's because usually if people start dying in the back of the ambulance, they turn back and take the person to the nearest emergency department.

But if the patient is marked for tender loving care only, everybody needs to agree that there won't be any diversions to the emergency department - the staff discharging him, the family receiving him, the ambulance crew, and the patient himself if he can understand.

(Because in the past there have been screw ups when people said they wanted to go home to die and then ended up dying on trolleys in emergency departments because the ambulance crew felt obliged to 'save' them, as they usually would.)

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thanks for that clarification. It's always good to have the inside dope on things.

[michaleen.livejournal.com]

So far, so good.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Yup.

[ideealisme.livejournal.com]

It must be hard when there are mixed feelings on your part towards him. I hope your wife and he can have a good rapport in the last days, if he's with the programme at all, that is.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Hard? Not really. Yes, I didn't always like the person he was, but that's unimportant now.

Ailz is going to be spending a lot of time with him. He doesn't seem aware of much, but who knows?

[daisytells.livejournal.com]

I am certain that now Ailz and her mother are feeling a lot more comfortable with this situation. I know it is not easy for them,having been there myself only six months ago, following almost a year of watching the decline. It helps to know that a person is receiving good and loving care at such a time. Hugs to you for your support to Ailz.

[heatherp8.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thanks

[tamnonlinear.livejournal.com]

My paternal grandfather's listed cause of death was 'terminal cachexia', a somewhat nonsense term that meant he'd simply stopped eating and was wasting away (or, perhaps, the other way around). Dying of nothing in particular more than being old and tired of life and ready to go.

I don't have any great words here, and I'm not sure that's a reasonable thing to be looking for in such an individual and personal situation, but it must be difficult, and I am sorry for that, and I wish you all whatever grace there is in this.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

I just looked up cachexia on Wikipedia. The doctors don't really understand it. I guess the Greek name gives them an illusion of control.

[lblanchard.livejournal.com]

I found there was something peculiarly peaceful and comforting about being with dying family members who were essentially just slipping away. I wish him an easy passage and the rest of you as much comfort as you can take from each other.

[daisytells.livejournal.com]

Same here, lblanchard, that is how it was when my 94 year old mother died last fall.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

I entirely agree with what you say.

[arielstarshadow.livejournal.com]

I hope his passing is quiet and painless. Much love to you and Ailz!

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thank you

[ooxc.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry - but I'm sure that you will all feel better for having brought him home - even if it's difficult now. It's impossible to know for sure, but I 've always believed that people do know the difference between family and strangers, even when comatose.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I wasn't in favour of bringing him home, but now believe I was wrong.

[pondhopper.livejournal.com]

When my mother in law simply fell asleep and didn't wake it was the best ending we could hope for and I hope that Eric slips away just as easily.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

Oh my. I hadn't realized he was that badly off.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Until quite recently we were thinking he could have turned things round if he'd wanted to. Maybe we were wrong, but that's how it seemed...