Resentful

[poliphilo]

One of the great things about the snow was it gave us an excuse not to go visit Ailz's parents. I feel bad complaining about a sick man, but if I don't complain the anger works inwards and chokes me. Old people should have hobbies. Hobbies take you out of yourself. As it is, he has nothing to think about or talk about except his maladies and medications- and scarcely any mood except self pity. His one resource is to buy things- and make a drama out of it. Last month it was the bed (they bought a whole new bed because the old one had a broken drawer). Now it's a second wheelchair. I see these maggots of his as a ploy to get the rest of us worked up into an Eric-centred fuss. If he were capable of holding a conversation about Whitney Houston or Manchester United's chances in the cup or stamp collecting or anything but his sweet, suffering self, I would resent it less- or maybe not resent it at all.  

I have copious experience with the old and ill- and I know they're not all like this. If I get like this, please put me in an care home and abandon me there. 

Comments

[michaleen.livejournal.com]

Sounds awful. Was he much different when younger?

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I've known him twenty years. He was always wrapped up in himself. When he was fit his conversation was all about great meals I have eaten in foreign hotels and great diseases my friends and relatives have had- and don't bother to tell me anything about yourself because I'm not interested.

I'm being unfair. I've never liked him.

[michaleen.livejournal.com]

He sounds very difficult to like.

When they are mean to our loved ones, they're impossible to like.

[sorenr.livejournal.com]

My great-grandmother lived to be 104, and when she died my grandmother finally confessed how horrible it had been to be her daughter-in-law for the past 20 years, and how she would expect her children to make the decision to send her to a retirement home when the time was right, because she didn't want to become the nagging old woman. (Now at 86 she's still living in her house, but not nagging anybody. THAT's ageing gracefully!)

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Old age is a great test of character.

[pondhopper.livejournal.com]

That is very sad indeed but I suspect that your FIL's character has always been like that. People don't change just because they age and indeed, the aging often makes bad characters worse.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

He has always been self-centred and manipulative.

[daisytells.livejournal.com]

One of my friends in my building says that he and his ex-wife (they are still very good friends) have agreed to shoot each other if they get like that -- or if they get to a point where they cannot make sound judgments for themselves. He points out that the only problem with that is that the survivor will have no one to do it for them. I hope that is a joke between them.
As for the care home, you are the first person I have ever heard of who mentioned they might want to go to one.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I'd rather go into a care home than be a burden to my family.

[veronica-milvus.livejournal.com]

But have you ever TOLD him how he makes you feel? In a constructive way, obviously, but some people (and I have an aunt like this) are never "called" on their behaviour and get more and more monstrous as time goes on. Gotta stand up to them.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

His wife tells him all the time.

He's always on his best behaviour when I'm around. Wouldn't do to break down in front of another chap, don'tcha know.

[endlessrarities.livejournal.com]

I don't know. If all you ever get is endless spouting forth on Whitney Houston, stamp collecting or whatever, it gets really wearing...

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I'd rather hear about Whitney Houston than about someone else's aches and pains. My own are boring enough....