A Disturbed Night

[poliphilo]

Odi turned up on the doorstep at 2 in the morning, dressed for an African summer. She and Peter have had a spat. She's still in the front room sleeping it off. I don't know what we'll do with her.

Money seems to be the prblem. Peter holds the purse strings and won't give Odi any spends. They've been cold-shouldering one another- which is how they handle disagreement- all over Christmas.

Comments

[veronica-milvus.livejournal.com]

Ah, maybe you can help them think of a better way to deal with disagreements than this. Good luck.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thanks. We have made suggestions...

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. But he needs to find out he can't control her by denying her access to money sooner rather than later (wtf), so she actually did the right thing unless she fancies literally ending up barefoot and pregnant.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Yes.

She might be better off without him, but on the other hand....Ach, it's complicated.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

People always are, aren't they? It sounds as if she has some healthy boundaries though.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Coming to Europe has taught her she doesn't have to take all that patriarchal shit she would have to put up with in Cameroon.

On the other hand she is an irresponsible, self-centred child....

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but growing up in a society where you're not responsible for yourself because the Man In Charge is, tends to make women that way because it's infantilising. It's not a character flaw, it's another learning curve. You don't want Daddy to hold the purse strings? Good. But that means you stop acting like Daddy's little girl and sober up.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

That's a very fair point.

[ron-broxted.livejournal.com]

Violence works. At least in my family...

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I don't see that as an option in this case...

[pondhopper.livejournal.com]

It's a vicious cycle and one that needs stopping...but it's hard to stop when it's both cultural (maybe?) and human nature.
Is Peter working now?

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

It's certainly cultural. Odi has adapted to western mores more readily than Peter has. of course, as a man, he has more to lose.

Peter isn't working.

[ingenious76.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Not the best way to handle things, but if its ingrained it'll be hard to change their attitudes. Then, thats exactly how my grandfather (Dad's dad) treated my grandmother, by denying her money. I find it unbelievable that some still think its acceptable to do this. You've got a hard task ahead of you, but best of luck!

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Peter comes from a culture (well, they both do) where the man is absolute lord and master. He complains that Odi has become too Europeanised.

[heleninwales.livejournal.com]

Yes, well... That's what comes of moving to live in a European country.

I suppose he wants to pick and choose which bits of the culture he wants to adopt while Odi is taking a "when in Rome" approach.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Yes. Peter has no objection to pubs and Chelsea Football Club.