Disempowerment

[poliphilo]

I was supposed to be going round to my in-laws today to move a fridge-freezer for them, but I don't need to because my father-in-law has already done it. He shouldn't have- it could have killed him- but he hates to feel dependent on the goodwill of others. I can understand that. I feel rather the same about having the workmen in. Here they are, bashing away at my house, rendering parts of it unusable- and I have to take it and smile, when my instinct (irrational and absurd) is telling me to go boot them off the property and do the job myself.  I don't know how people ever coped with keeping servants- especially live-in servants. It would jangle my nerves dreadfully to have strangers always gliding around, appearing spook-like in doorways,  doing things for me I could perfectly well do for myself.   No wonder the masters and mistresses in Victorian novels are so often bad-tempered and abusive. Servitude is degrading- not only for the servant but also for the served. Prince Charles- reportedly- employs a man to put toothpaste on his toothbrush for him. How do either of them stand it?

I've just been out to rake leaves in the front yard, not because it particularly needed doing, but because it gave me the illusion of control.

Comments

[michaleen.livejournal.com]

Interesting.

When I had a new roof put on, I thought the noise and intrusion would drive me crazy. When they got around to the west side of the house, where the work was more demanding and dangerous, I joined them, rather than allow them to continue without direct supervision. I found that much easier. When we tore out and replaced the back porch, I worked alongside the carpenters and thoroughly enjoyed it.

I think you get used to it. It was very difficult, on my first day as a superviser on a construction site, but after a time I grew more comfortable and didn't mind directing and observing the swirl of activity around me, even when to all appearances I was not doing anything at all, myself.

If being served bothers you so, however do you stand eating in a restaraunt?

[veronica-milvus.livejournal.com]

They are honourable tradesmen doing something I couldn't do myself, and for a fair price. It's not a matter of goodwill, it's fair exchange. I do struggle with having Cleaners, because everything they do, I could do myself. I think one of the reasons we have cleaners is I have been kidding myself I'm lazy when actually I have been protecting my rickety hip.

I was glad, when we had large parts of our kitchen demolished in 2005, that I was at work all day, I would have felt bad hanging round the house while it was all going on. Nothing to do, couldn't cook, or do laundry or anything.

[aellia.livejournal.com]

I really don't like strangers in my house and have been known to hide under the stairs rather than open the door to one.
How long will the work take?
Hugs
x

[jackiejj.livejournal.com]

dreadfully to have strangers always gliding around, appearing spook-like in doorways,

You've helped me smile this morning--it's not quite seven and I was feeling surly and sleepy--

My sister and her husband had some recent water damage in their basement, which caused their downstairs wood floors to warp. Their entire downstairs flooring has been torn out in order to dry it and reinstall new boards. The insurance is paying for it. Cindy and Dave are living upstairs, and they don't even have kitchen cabinets or stove or fridge--all has been placed in a POD unit in their driveway.

She is trying to be optimistic (shiny new floors coming, everything clean and new) but it's hard!

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm not all that keen on eating in restaurants- though sometimes (though not often) the quality of the food consoles me. I'd always prefer to eat in a cafeteria and serve myself.

It sounds as if you had fun, working on your house.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Yes, these guys aren't servants- they don't bow and scrape- but the intrusion is the same.

We could go sit at my in-laws- and listen to them tell us stories about meals they ate in Majorca in 1975- but that would be worse.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

The work is scheduled to last six weeks. :(

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

We still have a fridge and a cooker- but no washing machine- and the kitchen feels like a dungeon and there is mud all over the floor. Today's labour- I think they may have been sawing up bricks or concrete beams- has raised a huge quantity of dust.

[veronica-milvus.livejournal.com]

Go out for a jaunt with your camera and get out of the way! I always like your pictures.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Perhaps. In fact we've talked about doing just that. It comes down to us having the physical and emotional energy.

[michaleen.livejournal.com]

I should enjoy working on my house even more, were it not so overwhelming.

Being served in a restaurant can be awkward, sometimes. I think I overcame the last vestiges of that eating in Chinese establishments, on the west coast. A new waiter, fresh off the boat and eager to please, can be terribly annoying on a slow evening. They certainly don't intend to be, obviously, so best course was often to just smile and nod aristocratically and play along.