I've been thinking about this question, and have come to the conclusion that a lot of it is about how you respond to the world once your trust has been sufficiently violated. Do you decide that you don't want to fall to your abuser's level? Do you decide to strike out? Do you decide to manipulate and control other people? Do you decide to hurt yourself instead of lashing out? Do you decide that what happened to you doesn't justify paying forward the pain?