poliphilo | Thanks For Being Nice To Me

Thanks For Being Nice To Me

I was out cutting the hedge yesterday afternoon and a child from down the street- a lonely 12 year old who gets lost in the crowd of her siblings- stopped by for a chat. After a while I asked Ailz (sotto voce) to come and chaperone me because- well- a middle-aged man has to be careful around kids these days. I hate it, but there you are. Ailz was showing her our collection of soft toys (we've got hundreds of them) and wound up giving her a couple. Later she returned with gifts of her own- a miniature scent bottle and a doll's hand mirror- plus a thankyou note.

thank's for the tedy what you give me and thank's for being nice to me and you are a good frend to now.

I've fixed it to the fridge with a magnet.

I don't know how people who are around kids all the time can stand it- all those vulnerable young lives- and knowing all the horrors that surround and await them- and being so powerless to do anything about it- like watching a fleet of paper boats going off down a fast-flowing river.

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oh, that breaks my heart! sorry, hart.

Mine too. I had heart-ache all afternoon.

I could never have stood being a guidance councilor at school. There are way too many very sad cases.

I can imagine....

like watching a fleet of paper boats going off down a fast-flowing river.

Thank you for this jewel of a post, Tony.

You're very kind :)

I was thinking yesterday about your novel, about the archeological dig under the house. It was beautifully written.

Thank you.

I guess the way that they stand it is by seeing the flags fluttering on the paper boats.

We all have the power to make a difference in someone else's life; for good or for ill. By choosing to try and act for good, who knows what difference you have made to that girl's future?

That's a pleasant thought.

I stand it by trying not to think about it too much...concentrating on the "now".
Sweet child...there are far too many kids not getting enough love in the world.

Yes, the "now" is really all we have.

Ah, lovely.
Great pictures of Alice by the way - I was aware of a relaxed quality about them. I sent the link to Jo and Thomas too, to share them.
Looking forward to seeing you soon. We can definitely see you and hopefully entertain you to a meal- Ma was unsure I think. We'll make sure of it and see if we can take any flexi time perhaps.
Jenny

That's good. I'm pleased you've sent those pictures to Jo and Thomas.

We'd love to come over for a meal. The way it's looking at present we should be down from Sunday evening to Friday morning.

When I became a teacher it was of older, already hardened to the world people. Even so, I met quite a few 20 year olds who could have written that note.

Like Jackie, I think this post is a jewel. I felt so sad after reading her note. Manolo and I were just now discussing the horrendous perspectives young people face these days. I think we had it easier.

I think life is hard- full stop. I suspect it's meant to be that way. If we didn't have obstacles to overcome we'd never grow.

My childhood was lovely in some ways- bags of freedom- but I was also quite lonely for much of the time.

I used to drive a school bus. People would ask me all the time how I could stand those awful kids. The thing was, I loved my kids (it was management I couldn't stand, which is why I quit). There was one little girl on the bus, a 5 year old refugee from the Sudan, who, for Christmas, gave me 2 pencils "for my children". She asked me how many children I had. I told her I had 180... that was the number of children that I transported on the bus every day. I told her that she and all her mates were my children, that they were all the children I needed.

She seemed very pleased with that.

Every time I see stuff on TV about kids in the Sudan, or kids getting blown up in Iraq, or in any other places in the world were kids end up being the victims of adult aggression, I think of that beautiful little Sudanese girl, and it brings tears to my eyes.

That's a beautiful story.

I had a step-daughter once- sort of- in a relationship that lasted a couple of years. She was a troubled child and used to drive me up the wall. I now suspect (we just weren't so well clued up about these things back then) that she was being abused by her grandfather. I wish I'd done more....

How beautiful is that? I don't find it sad at all -- you've given her something she will cherish forever.

I was a sad and lonely kid. I work with children as an art teacher now in the hopes of passing on something I didn't get much of -- love, attention, and nourishment to pursue whatever they dream of despite the odds. Sometimes it's hard, but as someone said earlier, the now is what's most important to them, as well as for them.

I hope you and Ailz have the opportunity to spend more time with her!

"I hope you and Ailz have the opportunity to spend more time with her!"

I hope so too.

I had a couple of art teachers who were both of them special people. One was a really fabulous story teller and the other was a dry, witty, nonconforming sort of a guy who created a space in which we could be nonconforming too.

the other was a dry, witty, nonconforming sort of a guy who created a space in which we could be nonconforming too.

And that would be my greatest aspiration as an art teacher, too, lol! :)

I was at boarding school and the art room was my refuge. When others were out playing football or marching about pretending to be soldiers (I was very good at evading all hearty, organised pursuits) I'd be curled up on the art room settee going through the Phaidon art books.

Good for you! You are another friend of mine who marched to the "beat of the different drummer" in youth as well as maturity! (Those are the people who I have loved the most all my life.)

It's always been a rule with me: see where everyone else is headed, then walk off in the opposite direction.

>>>>After a while I asked Ailz (sotto voce) to come and chaperone me because- well- a middle-aged man has to be careful around kids these days. I hate it, but there you are.

Not only middle-aged men - women too. It's so sad, but we all have to be really careful these days

It's a slightly hysterical phase we're going through. I trust things will eventually settle down. After all, the place where kids are most likely to be abused and otherwise harmed is their own home.

>>>After all, the place where kids are most likely to be abused and otherwise harmed is their own home.

You know that, and I know that - but try telling it to the sort of person - parent or otherwise - who thinks that any lone adult is suspicious.
Don't you think that the root of all this is really the herd mentality that seems to have set in since about the mid 60s?
That's when, by my memory, families stopped doing things together, the peer group became all-important, and the child or adult who values quiet company (or none) became suspect.

i believe the human animal has always been liable to outbreaks of mass hysteria. All that's changed is that the madness used to spread at the speed of a stage coach and now- thanks to the modern media- it spreads instantaneously and gets everywhere. Where witch hunts were once local, they're now national- if not global.

Similarly, loners have always been liable to persecution. Those words- "witch hunt"- say it all.

Yes - things that used to be confined to a certain newspaper (now, I think, gone) are now all over the radio and TV.
I wasn't thinking so much of "loners" (which I take to mean complete solitaries) but simply people who need to spend some time alone, or children who prefer adult company.
Even witches (in persecution times) weren't solitaries. It's a long time since I knew an anthropologist who wrote a thick tome on this in the 1960s, but the impression I got from him was that it was their sought-after-ness that often sparked off witch-hunts, rather than their solitariness.

40 years from now (or more), that child will still remember your kindness and feel happy. You've done a wonderful thing.

Thank you. That would be very good. I know I remember equally minor incidents from my own childhood.

So do I, and some of them still brighten my life.

But then kids have such life and exuberance. They are fearless and I do sometimes wonder if it would be better if we grown ups just left them alone...

Isn't it nice to make a new friend

Life is hard - well hard things happen - but so do good ones too. I think life just is!

What Poliphilo doesn't mention is that this nicely brought up child has 9 brothers and sisters oldest 35 youngest 1 - plus a 14 year old girl who lives with them and who she counts as another sister.

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Thanks For Being Nice To Me

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