Sorry

[poliphilo]

We let him down. And what I want to say to him is, "Yeah, yeah, yeah- but we're not as strong as you think we are."

I know that's not really an excuse. 

But we're not. We give off this aura of invincibility and it's all front. Actually this big, old world frightens us so much there are times we can barely function. With him it was a case of - "Look, we've got this horror and this other horror and this other other horror all hissing in on us- like devils with pokers (Shakespearian reference ) and we can't be coping with you as well."

Of course I didn't say this. I didn't say anything. That's the nub of it. He sent an email and we neglected to reply. 

Not a deliberate snub, just neglect.

I lay awake last night, making my apologies to him. 

But actually if he's dropped us I'm happy to stay dropped because it's one less thing to be anxious about.

I finally got to sleep and there was this American city that had been transported to Europe and rebuilt brick by brick and it was the wonder of the age and I was traipsing all over it taking photographs. Jeez, but some of those hills were steep!

Comments

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

It's the link between us, I think. That in spite of political differences (who cares?) we're very similar. Both of us seem to be tough, tough, tough- and we're not.

[momof2girls.livejournal.com]

We give off this aura of invincibility and it's all front. Actually this big, old world frightens us so much there are times we can barely function.

hat's the way I feel I present myself to my kids, because I *have* to. I don't want them to know how fearful I really am inside!

[momof2girls.livejournal.com]

The first word of my reply is supposed to be "That's."

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I've been there. It's hard work being a fearless, omnicompetent mum or dad