English History A Little Garbled

[poliphilo]

 I dreamed we had just won the Napoleonic wars, our enemies had all been banged up in the Tower- where they were being liquidated- and we were being given a tour of the premises. "This is good stuff," I thought to myself , "but then it would be because it's been written by Sir Walter Scott." We went into the room where they kept the rack and our guide opened a big cupboard to show itwas full of corpses. We were revolted. And then the ghost of Cardinal Wolsey rode out on a mule and told us that "The Great Duke" (by which he meant the Duke of Wellington) should really stop killing people.

Meanwhile we were auctioning off our enemies' art collections. If a painting failed to reach its reserve I stepped in and claimed it for the Crown- which is why today the National Gallery in London has so many lousy Renoirs.....