Clever Little Varmints

For weeks- months even- my mother and I have been having a conversation that goes like this.

"What's that on the bird feeder?"

"A squirrel."

"Should he be there?"

"Erm".

Our bird feeder is notionally squirrel proof (it has an umbrella thingy that stops them getting up the pole) but they've been climbing a nearby fencepost and launching themselves across the divide. At first I found this rather cute, but yesterday they got through three fat balls in the course of a morning and I decided I'd had enough- so I removed the post.

This morning the conversation went like this.

"What's that on the ground?"

"A squirrel."

"Why isn't he on the feeder?"

PS. That should have been the end of the story, but real life has no respect for nicely rounded anecdotes.  I was just on the point of posting when I looked up AND THERE WAS A SQUIRREL ON THE BIRD FEEDER. How on earth did he do that?  I chased him off and watched for his return and what he's doing now is jumping from the ground to the top of the umbrella thingy.

OK, I'm full of admiration, but...

The umbrella thingy is moveable and I've raised it a lot higher. That should do it, shouldn't it? 

A Snatch Of Conversation

Kirstie (looking at a headline story about the death of Cilla Black) That's so sad

Me: No it isn't. She'd had a full life, her career was over, she'd outlived her husband. Time to go.

Kirstie: But she was so young.

Me: She was seventy two. That's old. Why, she was even older than me.

Kirstie: You didn't like her?

Me: Not much. That dating show she did was in the worst possible taste.

Ailz: Snob!