Christina Alberta's Father: H.G. Wells

One of Wells's lower-middle class anti-heroes (with a Wellsian New Woman for a daughter) gets it into his head that he's the reincarnation of Sargon, King of Kings- and begins to act accordingly. Wells tests his own Utopian theories almost to destruction and, by the way, gives us a chilling expose of the horrors of the mental health system. This is one of his best books and- when he chooses it to be- every bit as funny as Kipps or Mr Polly.

A Conversation We've Had Twice Now

My Mother: What is all that stuff?

Me: Enid's Diaries

My Mother: Oh dear, Is there no-one we can pass them to. John Allen: He's very much the head of the family.

Me: (resisting the urge to say John Allen can go fuck himself) But he's an old man.

My Mother: Not so very old.

Me: He's older than you are. And you're 93.

My Mother: Oh.

Me:  I'm not handing them to a man in his mid 90s.  Besides, I want to keep them for the time being. They're fascinating.

My Mother: Just so long as I don't have to do anything with them.

Me: You don't. We'll deal with them. Me and Jenny and Ailz.

My Mother: That's all right, then.