An Unpredictable Guest

I dreamed that an elderly, Falstaffian Orson Welles was trying to seduce me. I told him why I wasn't interested. On his first visit he left a bag of gold coins hidden in a sheaf of newspapers under the sofa cushion. On his second he left a couple of bombs. My friends and I managed to chuck them out of the window just in time. 

Oh

Che has been up on the roof all day putting lead around the chimney. Ailz asked him if he was really named after the hero of the revolution and he laughed and said, No; Che was short for Shane. I suppose, then, I should write it as Shay- but I'm not going to.