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Dec. 17th, 2008

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The theme of my dreams is difficulty. So, last night I was at a Test Match and having difficulty seeing the game. And after that I was in Canterbury cathedral and  having difficulty taking photos (even though they'd removed the roof and there was much more light that usual). 

Does this reflect my daytime experience?  I suppose it does. Life is difficult and getting more so. Like in the supermarket the other day- when I noticed what a performance it was getting things off a lower shelf. Not impossible, but difficult. First I had to get down there to floor level- creak, creak, creak- then I had to reach into the shelf because the stuff I was after had been pushed way back- creak, creak, creak- and then- very much the worst of all- I had to get up again- creak, creak, crack. I wouldn't say it was painful- at least not sharp and creasing- just effortful - like having to work with a very slow, broadband connection. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I'm not raging against old age. It's just that I dont entirely believe in it. (which could be why the dreams keep hammering away at the theme).   Walking, kneeling, getting out of a chair- these are all such simple things- so how can I possibly find them hard?  It's an act, isn't it- a way of trolling for sympathy? And I need to snap out of it. Now!

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poliphilo

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