Bloody Kids

Someone just gave me a Kinder Egg. You know, one of those chocolatey things with an ingenious plastic toy inside. When the kids were small I used to buy them Kinders so I could build up my collection of Kinder toys. They were weird, surreal, they were like things out of Hieronymous Bosh. But the kids had other ideas. They wanted to play with them. they wanted to disassemble them. They wanted to lose the constituent parts. Bah. Childhood is wasted on kids.

My new Kinder toy is a fat-faced queen- in fact she's all face- she doesn't have a body- on rollers. You can push her around- whee! Ain't that amazing! I'm gonna keep her on the mantlepiece.

And you! Yes, I'm talking to you! You can keep your sticky little fingers to yourself!