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Apr. 12th, 2004

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I'm thinking of changing the icon. The son of the sheik is beginning to bore me.
 


Pretentious git. Ah, but this blog started off as an exercise in pretentiousness...

...And concealment. It allowed me to be any age, any gender.

Let's come clean. I'm a middle-aged man, the product of a certain society and conditioning, of a certain time. All my life I've tried to transcend all that: the Home Counties, the 1950s, the public school upbringing, the conservatism.

Right now I'm doing it by writing stories. Every morning I sit down and spend an hour or two imagining the adventures of a pair of teenagers (one male, one female) in the mid 15th century. It's a kind of magic.

I tried traditional magic. I tried the lighting-a-load-of-candles-and-casting-a-circle type of magic and this other kind- this storytelling- is much stronger. I can bring dead worlds back into a kind of existence. I can walk among ghosts. I can be anyone I want to be.

But here in this Journal- if I can remember how it's done- I shall try to be myself.

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