I've found my excursion fraught with anxiety.

I'm also anxious about the process of dying, because I can't think of anything more lonely.

When I was in labor with my children, I felt connected to women everywhere, surely, but still alone. Because who but me could feel my pain? I fell asleep and dreamed that my contractions were glowing hoops of blue fire. But no one in the room could be with me and do anything for me but stand beside me.

My mother talks about dying all the time--every time I see her. She says, I want it to be quick.

But what if it's not quick? What if you're apparently asleep, lying there in a coma, apparently peaceful or unconscious, but in reality the real you is leaving your physical body and taking off for parts Unknown?

I would plan on enjoying the trip if I were the sort of person who enjoys bungee jumping or whitewater rafting. But being who I am, I plan on one long horrible panic attack, possibly for all eternity!

Or maybe we don't have nerve endings Out in the Beyond! One hopes...