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"Have you been outside?" asked my mother, brightly. It's the tone she used to use when she thought I should be running round in the fresh air instead of curled up in my bedroom with the Three Musketeers.

"No"

She makes a disappointed noise.

"Are you going outside?"

"No"

More disappointment.

The sun may have been shining, but it was perishing out there. Also, though I'm not sure she knows it, I'm in my mid sixties and feel the cold.

"At least," says Ailz when I tell her about it, "She didn't say, 'Don't you think you should go and help your father in the garden?'"

Moods come and go- and some days I cope better than others . Today has been particularly difficult

But as Lawrence of Arabia said of snuffing out matches with one's fingers, "The trick is not minding that it hurts."
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