You knew from that summer? After only two weeks...that moment of feeling the truth must have been so hard. And then you pushed it away.
Was there ever a time, during that long ten years, when your work was fulfilling or when you felt joy in it? I hope so.
(In that same year, in October, I began working at Oak Ridge National Laboratory, at first as a mechanical draftsman. If there were ever someone misplaced in a job, that was I, and I well knew I was running a bluff--I was lousy in math, couldn't turn objects in my head--all I could do was make lovely drawing and use pretty handwriting. But I had to support two small children. Some days I would be so baffled and miserable that I would escape into the restroom and cry, I was so scared I'd be fired for incompetence.
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Date: 2005-05-14 04:23 am (UTC)Was there ever a time, during that long ten years, when your work was fulfilling or when you felt joy in it? I hope so.
(In that same year, in October, I began working at Oak Ridge National Laboratory, at first as a mechanical draftsman. If there were ever someone misplaced in a job, that was I, and I well knew I was running a bluff--I was lousy in math, couldn't turn objects in my head--all I could do was make lovely drawing and use pretty handwriting. But I had to support two small children. Some days I would be so baffled and miserable that I would escape into the restroom and cry, I was so scared I'd be fired for incompetence.
Like you, it took me ten years to get sprung.)
I'm sorry for those ten years of pain you had.