Dementia

[poliphilo]

Our neighbour called round to collect a parcel we'd taken in for her- having just flown in from Boston, Mass- on one of the last planes to leave before the airport had snow dumped all over it. She was telling my mother about her mother's dementia and my mother was nodding and being sympathetic. Does my mother realize she has dementia too? I don't think she does. One forgets that one forgets.

Comments

[wyrmwwd.livejournal.com]

Over the course of my life, I have had MANY people who have some sort of brain issue. Dementia is one of them, but there are several other configurations possible. The thing is, it is very hard to keep in one's consciousness that one's own brain is a problem. This is because we live inside our heads, and what is in there is "normal".

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I'm using dementia as a generic term. My mother's condition hasn't been diagnosed. I wish I had another word. Dementia carries entirely inappropriate connotations of raving lunacy.

m

[wyrmwwd.livejournal.com]

Dementia carries those connotations in a literary sense, but it is probably medically accurate. It's the term they use for a catch-all when they don't know what to diagnose. It was the same with Uncle (from my blog a few years ago). They hadn't diagnosed anything, but he had a short-term memory of about 5 minutes. Couldn't remember ANYTHING... including that his brother was dead, and that he had been the one to find the body. Couldn't remember my name, or that I came to see him every day, or that I lived next door. Had no idea who I was, even though I fed him three times a day. Every time I came over, it was a surprise.

Re: m

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

My mother has short term memory loss. You tell her something and she immediately forgets. I don't think her long term memory is all that brilliant either. the condition is compounded by deafness and very poor eyesight.

Re: m

[wyrmwwd.livejournal.com]

That is what Uncle had. He got to the point where he no longer would remember to feed himself or take himself to the bathroom. Caring for him was a 24 hour job and he needed to be in a care facility (hopefully, his niece has done this and not gotten yet another unqualified ex-lover to look after him).

My Favorite Pilgrim is not nearly that bad, but she is heading in that direction. She has lost most of her ability to understand mechanics (for lack of a better term). They publish a calendar every year that she gets which very cleverly comes in a CD case. You open the case, turn it around, and it becomes the base to display the calendar. Very clever! But it is IMPOSSIBLE for her to figure out. I have to do it for her every year. She also doesn't understand that both electricity the telephone come out of the wall, and that they are different things. Electricity coming out of the wall is a very hard concept for her.

And yet, she will remember some of the smallest details. Whenever I go over, she remembers what day I said I was preaching, and asks me how it went! Have the time, I can't remember the last time I preached! It's very sweet, but very sad and sometimes very frustrating. Sometimes I want to say "we just went over this! Why can't you remember?" Then I remember that this is physical, and not at all her fault. Parts of her brain are just shutting down, and there is nothing to be done about it.