The Unavoidable Topic

[poliphilo]

I am not going to write about Wayne Rooney, I am not going to write about Wayne Rooney, I am not going to write about Wayne Rooney.....

Why not?

Because if I do I'm going to sound like a snob.

So what are you going to write about?

How about the TV play about Shakespeare I watched a bit of last night? It was really funny. They kept saying things like "forsooth".

Well, you can if you like but no-one else is going to have seen it or have a clue what you're banging on about. 

How about Dr Who then?

Wait until you've seen the second half

Oh, all right then: I've been bending over backwards to think of Rooney as the twinkle-toed wizard of dribble but I keep coming back to that face. 

What's wrong with the face?

Oh, come on; it's simian; It's Bill Sikes with the masculinity subtracted; it's half bulldog, half weasel.; it's the sort of face you'd cross town to avoid meeting after dark on a Saturday night.

It's a good honest proletarian face. Wayne was brought up without your advantages.

Yes, yes, I know. And that's why I didn't want to write this, but after the way he stomped on that guy's balls, then tried to turn the England-Portugal match into a donnybrook the topic is unavoidable.

You're about to say he's setting our youth a bad example aren't you?

Well he is. 

There you are; wasn't so painful ,was it?

*Sobs*  I have turned into my mother....

Comments

[idahoswede.livejournal.com]

But you speak the truth in any event. I was watching, mouth wide open, thinking "My god, does he think he's going to get away with THAT?" Thank the gods, he didn't.

[sorenr.livejournal.com]

My thought was that it seems slightly wasted that we should've had so much drama about that blasted foot before the Cup if all he was going to do with it was stomp on some guy's balls!

[jenny_evergreen]

Your mother was probably not quite so funny in similar situations. Take heart. :)