poliphilo: (Default)
poliphilo ([personal profile] poliphilo) wrote2022-06-01 08:05 am

Uncertainties

I've been wondering about the family pathologies that made my parents the closed-in characters they were, but being closed-in characters they rarely spoke about the past- and all I've got to go on is a few hard facts and a lot of photographs that tell me nothing. I liked all my grandparents, they didn't seen particularly oppressive...

And what about my own childhood? Have I suppressed things? Last night a dream about a buried toy gave me the answer. Do I want to go on digging? Not really.

I remember two other dreams. In one we (whoever we were) had tracked down a child murderer and were planning to execute him, but he was bigger than we were and likely to struggle when we applied the garrotte so we let him go- but not before I'd beaten him round the head with a book- whereupon he turned into a small boy and it became a matter of concern that he might report us to the authorities...

In the other I was at university and trying to decide which of several friendly, flirty girls I should begin to take an interest in...